Crying It Out

Go ahead.. Judge me.  I judged me.  I judged my selfishness for wanting sleep.  While putting in my ear plugs and staring at our video monitor for 10-30 minutes for 8 different times these last few nights, I felt like the worst mom in the world.  But here's the story... a success story with some tears along the way.

Declan had started waking 1-3 (and two nights even 4 times a night) since about 5 months old.  And when I knew it was hunger, I didn't mind.  But it soon became 2-3 times a night where he was waking up and only "nursing" would calm him and put him back to sleep.  (Warning... TMI coming for some of you)  I say "nursing" because 90% of the time he wasn't actually eating but just hanging out on the boob... He weaned himself from a pacifier, which is nice in every way except for  my chapped nipples, my kinked neck/back and light sleeping nights with him nursing next to me in bed. 

So after Christmas vacation traveling all over and being off schedule and practically co-sleeping half the nights with me (which I swore I would never do... Never say never as a parent!) I googled all sorts of sleep training/tricks driving home and decided to stick with BabyWise/Ferber/Crying it out/ methods.  With the trick that a bottle of formula would help him be fuller and he'd for sure eat enough before nursing him at bedtime so I knew he wouldn't be hungry.  I know my supply can be low at night.

Dec 30th, like clockwork, 11:00, 2 & 4, Declan woke up.  And Declan cried.  With me or Andy going in after 5-10 minutes if scream crying to shhhhhh him and tell him "it's sleepy time. we love you. shhhhhh"  He was always back asleep within 10-25 minutes this night.  Whew... we did it.  His naps were good on the 31st.

Dec 31st, the times changed a littler later 11:30, 2:30, 4:30... the crying was longer and harder.. I was ready to nurse him after almost 35 minutes, but had had some champagne so couldn't, and now I'm glad we didn't.  I read lots that the 2nd night was always the worse.  His naps were awesome again. 

Jan 1st he only whimpered at 2:30 for less than 10 minutes and 4:30 for less than 5 with his eyes closed.  

I was going to give myself til tonight of crying bouts before I threw in the towel BUT for the last three nights, he has been sleeping from 8/8:30 to 5/6 for food and then til 730/8.

We did it.  I was hoping we wouldn't have to, but I truly believe it was for the best for us and doesn't make me a terrible mom, though I'm sure others disagree.    Declan has never taken better naps (which he lays down for without his 5 minutes of crying) and has been the happiest, well rested boy I have had in a month.  I thought he was in a wonder week or reaching anxiety about people leaving the room over break, but now I think he was just sleep deprived.  And now he's not, so 3ish (spread out over 3 nights) terrible hours of whimpers, pouts and all out cries worked for us.  

Hope I didn't jinx myself by blogging about this... Here's to a 4th night of restful sleep (where hopefully I won't wake at 11, 2, 4 wondering if Declan is about to!)