Friday, May 16, 2014

A license to parent?? Why Not!?!

Sometime late in my middle school years, I remember a class debate that people should need a license before becoming parents. You have to have education and pass tests for tons of other life saving activities and occupations.  I may be over generalizing here, but I think most everyone, would say raising a child is the most important job out there. So why not?? Why isn't it a LAW to have a "parenting license"?  School's a law. Why isn't early childhood education a law that parents must attend?  The brain does so much growth in those first years that impact the rest of your life.

You get pregnant so now you take a couple classes.... or they take your baby from you.   Ok... that's extreme and not going to happen! (I would surely hope it wouldn't...)   But think, why couldn't classes be a law?   The route we are going they could be... like the "strongly" suggested law like "you must have health insurance or we'll fine you".  How about, "you must take early childhood education classes or you don't get child deductions?"   So why not??  Write your congress members  or share this blog with them.  Kind of serious and kind of kidding... I don't really know my whole feelings on my ramblings yet so I haven't actually wrote Amy and Al myself but feel free to if you want!

Now back to my middle school theorizing brain... The debate got really controversial about how else you could regulate "parenting licenses."   Come on, it totally isn't breaking people's rights to force them to be on birth control until they are married (or in a committed relationship if you are the non-marrying type), make a household income of $75,000 (what studies show is the amount of money that can "buy" happiness), and pass a year long course on becoming parents before they take away your monthly required shots?  Really, wouldn't these shots be cheaper and better than welfare, intervention programs in schools, mental/behavioral health, foster programs, divorce rate increases (oh ya... a year long course before you get married is a great idea too), neglect/abuse cases, etc. etc. etc....   Yes, again, maybe you think I cross the line here in saying it is laissez faire, unprepared, hands off, or overworking parents who contribute to these necessities of our society, but in my opinion it is a part of the problem.  Some other studies really smart people do say parental training would help.  

Of course, a required birth control shot will never happen (again, nor do I think it should.)  But it could make another good novel with that idea.. I don't write those, just this little blog maybe you are reading. If you are the novel writing type, you can take that premise and send me a signed copy of your book... (and a couple thousand for Declan's college fund if you make more than $100,000 off it!)

But anyhow, hopefully you haven't stopped reading this blog because then I didn't get to tell you my main purpose for writing this blog:  To read the one book I think should be on the year long course's syllabus.  This book:



My book summary will be coming soon if you really can't read it. But you could.  I really want you to read it.  You could find 10ish hours over the next few months to read a book instead of watching tv or surfing the web that will help you understand your children's brains.   You want to help your kid be as Smart and as Happy as the genetic cards have tossed them, right?    For now, go to Amazon or my Fed Up blog for mini-summaries on it.   I will still blog about it this summer when school is out for my own review but I will not be able to do the book justice and explain all the research studies John Medina does.  I'm truly not trying to sound self-righteous in this paragraph as my first proofreader commented to me... just persuasive.  As a new parent and as a teacher I just want the best for our future generation.  

Maybe the teacher side in me will write a test on it and send you a license to parent.  Ha ha!... I don't work in July & August ;)    (Though I believe we should, even though I don't want to...  but that's another topic...) Jokes aside, a message I did take out of the conclusion of the book is we won't do it perfect even half the time and we shouldn't all do it the exact same, but we can take research proven strategies that smart brain scientists say work and always try harder! 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

April in Pictures



10 Months Old  April 8th,2014I

Easter








 CUBS vs. BREWERS Series in WI for Mike Lootens 50th Bday Weekend










Sunday, May 4, 2014

Will I be "Fed Up" by May 9th??



I wish I didn't... I wish it wasn't in EVERYTHING... I wish every holiday, special occasion, day that ends in "y" I would stop justifying my sweet tooth and just quit it all.

A few weeks ago I was trying to cut back on my sugar intake after reading 25 things that will terrify you about sugar. I knew it would be drastic and crazy and impossible to go cold turkey.

The next day one of my 5th graders was reading a food label (that is a whole other issue I don't dare get into right now) of a birthday treat from his classmate and said, "Wow, this has our entire daily value of sugar in this!  And he actually only ate one of the three truffles and saved the other"  At that moment, I wanted to have that self control... I wanted Declan to someday have that awareness and control.


I don't want to be that crazy person and crazy mom that never lets Declan have sugar... But I do want to be that crazy person and mom that allows it very little until Declan is truly old enough to read the food label and have the self control like my student did!  And being truly honest, I want to selfishly prevent as few temper tantrums and refusals to eat other food when that stage starts.  So I am looking forward to the documentary that can hopefully help me (scare and brainwash me more to continue cutting back)  We will see what "Fed Up" convinces me of after May 9th.

On a related sidenote, being a mom has made me worry more and try to control things I know in my mind I really won't be able to control long or forever, but as day by day goes by, the true magnitude of being a parent has hit me hard as Declan is imitating more, "speaking" at us all the time, doing and exploring unsafe things, etc...

 I'm am also reading THE ONE BOOK I am begging Andy to read, Brain Rules for a smart and happy Baby: 0 to 5 now.  I can't stop thinking how we'll do some of the common sense and not so obvious things that research shows can influence and guide kids to be moral, hard working (smart), and content (happy).   A lot of it is obvious to me as a teacher and good review from my psychology classes, but I love the research studies explained in easy to understand terms.  But the obvious things to do are still HARD WORK as a parent!  Practicing and teaching empathy and emotions are so intertwined in the brain!  I plan to blog about this book more this summer (once I finish it, reread it, takes notes on it and digest how we really can do it) but I would seriously recommend this book to any new parent or parent of a kid under 5... Because if your kid is over 5... they may already be screwed up ;) j/k... sort of... parts of the book alarm me.  Especially the importance of face time in kids 0-5 and all that they are just waiting for time to tell what technology/screens beyond TV do.